Tuesday, March 17, 2015

Facebook

Every day Facebook sends me another email. Yo, Jenn you have 16 friend requests, 13 messages, 5,736 notifications. Ok, not really that many notifications, but the numbers all go up daily. And daily, Facebook sends out their automated email to let me know just where that number is.

At first, it intrigued me. Who was wanting to be my friend? What if a message on there was something enlightening that I needed or would want to know? What were the notifications about? Even worse, what if someone was talking mad shit on my page right now and everyone was seeing it?

Slowly, I was less interested, but I kept thinking, what about those strangers that want to tell you some juicy stuff that you might not find out any other way? What if my not logging on was going to cost me not knowing some crazy thing somebody said or did to me that I had no clue of. 

Now, here I am. I'm not a regular person. I do awesome shit & accomplish a lot. I logged off of facebook for three months just to see if I could do it. Although my three months will be up May 2nd, I don't think I will ever log on again. If I do, I'm sure it will be quickly and then back off. My life is too amazing. 

I'm really surprised at how much can be gained by logging off. 

I have enough friends. All I'm interested in gaining now are fans. Believe me.

Monday, March 16, 2015

One is...

There are many people that fill my life. Some of my closest friends are people that will never cross paths with each other. Some of them don't realize they are my closest friends, and I may not be theirs, but that doesn't change how I categorize them.

One is a drug addict. One is a drug dealer. One is a stay at home mother-an amazing artist who writes beautiful poems - except she no longer writes or draws. One is a drama queen. One is promiscuous. One has no talent at all, but would give the world just to spend five minutes with people she cares about.

One cleans houses, but really should own a house cleaning business. She's an entrepreneur. She just doesn't know it yet. One is a scientist. He's my favorite person in the world. His demons are eating him alive, but I think he can win the war.

One is focused beyond belief and will make it big. She's just into one hundred things at once, which is fine because she will accomplish them all one day. One is a dreamer and he will consistently pretend that he doesn't have control of his situation because he would run out of dreams if they were to become reality. 

The greatest one is the most skilled of all. She has grace, logic, talent, and the whole world is at her fingertips. Somehow she has found the key to life and happiness without needing the things I think are needed for peace. She has also found a human that compliments her so well that she would be a fool to not realize how blessed she is. She knows. Hence, she's not a fool. 

One is a murderer who suffers from mental illness, but without him my life wouldn't be possible so slay on slayer.

Then, there's me. I am the biggest enemy and critic of myself. This is a good thing. I know exactly who I'm up against. 


Wednesday, March 11, 2015

One second

It takes one day to change. No, it takes a wakeup, a second. One single decision that takes one single second to change. You don't TRY to change. You are never in the process of changing. You do it or don't. Now or not right now. 

But if you don't do it - right now - you aren't changed. Don't bullshit yourself into believing that you're taking on this life mission to change and it's one baby step at a time. That's not changing. That's procrastinating and holding on to everything you need to change - only letting the easiest parts of it go. That's convenience. 

"It takes time" is the stupidest shit ever. You decided to pick up that bad thing, whatever it was you need to let go of and you can drop it as fast as U picked it up. "Slowly but surely" is the second stupidest thing ever and it's almost a tie. You can change your whole entire life this instant by saying "It's different now." That's change. 

Baby yourself and sugarcoat it all you want, but "I'm in the process of changing my whole life one step at a time, slowly but surely" really means "I'm changing the easy shit and holding onto my deepest flaws because I'm comfortable being mediocre and I like talking myself into believing I'm actually doing something when I'm not."

Someone just woke me up to this unintentionally and I'm kinda pissed that I was tricking myself for so long. I'm different now though, because I want to be. 

So, I'm sharing it with you. You're welcome. 

Tuesday, March 10, 2015

To Give a Fuck or To Not Give a Fuck

It's insane how much you can convince yourself that people matter when they don't.

I mean, really.

Not being an asshole - everyone says they don't give a fuck, but they do. They give a fuck about damn near everyone and everything. Even saying you don't give a fuck...in a way, you have to be contemplating it to decide that.

Somehow we have to learn to not give a fuck about not giving a fuck about something. 

To become successful it's overwhelmingly obvious how many things you have to laugh at and release, realizing how ignorant you were to care so much about shit that really didn't matter. 

Oh, and say it. If you feel it and you mean it, say it. I almost DIDN'T tell someone how important they were to me because it felt weird. It was nagging at me to tell them I gave a fuck, but I convinced myself I needed not say it. So I didn't. 

Then the next day I did. 

Because pretending to not give a fuck is actually quite consuming too. 

Rambling on, I'm in month two of no facebook. I did use snapchat for about three days. I am on Twitter again, barely. & Google+ is fun.

Seriously though, fuck facebook. 

I think that's all.